


Come Undone

by andyouknowitis



Series: Certain Calculations [1]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-30
Updated: 2014-12-30
Packaged: 2018-03-04 10:19:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 780
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3064217
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/andyouknowitis/pseuds/andyouknowitis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Being a comic book/superhero lover and lifelong fan of all things Marvel to boot I was never not gonna love this show. I fell in love with these two within about 0.7 seconds of them appearing onscreen. They are utterly adorable and fairly make my heart sing, even when they’re breaking it. This is a Leo POV response fic to the 'FZZT' episode.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Come Undone

He could still see it.

Not that last glimpse of her face as she’d taken that final, stupid, so stupid, so brave and  _stupid,_  step off the plane. He would see it always. But it wasn’t what was haunting him now. Not that. Nor the pity on Coulson’s face as he’d told him he’d had to quarantine her..and why. His brain had only been able to compute that she’d fix it..they’d fix it. It would be fine. They would be fine. They were FitzSimmons. They would be..FitzSimmons. It wasn’t that either. It wasn’t that last silly fight, born of their usual bickering, their them, before they’d stumbled across the solution, they always fought, it was part of their rhythm, their way of finding their way through one another’s minds. That was just the insidious little wobble inside, that they could fail, and that wasn’t something he could think about. Or let her think about. It wasn’t the face of panic, or pity, or fear, or failure keeping him awake now.

It was that button on her collar.

When his brain had time to process everything, when she’d walked away after calling him a hero, when he hadn’t done anything other than do what he did, with her by his side, because what was he without her by his side anyway. It wasn’t jumping from planes, just finding a way. He was left there, clutching his pillow, and all he could see was that button.

Because it had come undone, maybe by her own restless fingers, as panic had crept in, disrupting her..not her calm..Jemma was never really calm, any more than he was. She got excited by things, stupid love of adventure in her, that exhilarated look in her eyes and stream of tumbled words so few but him could follow half the time. It was really that irrepressible excitement that had him following her from the academy into all.. _this_ , in the first place. It was what made her so brilliant. Made her keep cool under pressure, which was a different thing from calm wasn’t it. Hers was a beautiful, frenetic mind. She was…kinetic.

But it wasn’t where it was supposed to be. That button. Because she was neat. Her mind might have scattered in all those wonderful directions but her exterior was..she was tidy. She was Jemma. Neat ponytails. Tidy collars. Steady hands. Jemma. Her buttons were always exactly where they should be. Buttoned.

Until today.

And he couldn’t unsee it. That simple undone button had made her something else in his mind. Somehow…more. More human…more real…more than his friend…more than his lab partner..more than the Simmons to his Fitz…just…more. He couldn’t find the words he was looking for, but it was like…it was like that extra ounce on the night-night gun. He’d been frustrated at Ward’s finicky demands wondering what difference an ounce could possibly make when it came down to it, not really understanding his explanation that it was how it felt. That the difference would be determined by the surroundings it had to perform in. And now, somehow, he understood.

It was such a small thing but it made all the difference in the world. Because when her button had come undone, it had been like that extra ounce dropping away. And he’d felt the difference as he’d worked through the steps, to find that fix, to find their way again, that the hope he’d given her had become entangled with this…unknown element.

Because when that button had come undone, something inside him had come undone too. And it was that something that had wrenched her name from a place he hadn’t known he’d had inside him. It had come undone. Had made him run and all but jump out of the plane. _Him_ , who had failed his field assessment.  _Him,_ with his pasty skin, someone who was probably better with lab rats than he was with people.  _Him,_  who knew about the mechanics of just about any weapon but nothing about the mechanics of talking to women. He would have done it. The last scrap of logic left in him at that moment had known that Ward, with his training, and…well…he was bloody  _Ward;_  had a much better chance of catching her, of bringing her back than he had. But still everything in him had wanted to jump in that moment, when his mind was still screaming her name.

Because that something inside him had come undone and he didn’t know how to put it together again.

And he didn’t even know if he wanted to.  

*


End file.
